Almost here but not exactly

Before I say(or write, for that matter) what I want to say, I have utmost respect for leaders I know. Be it politicians or my peers. Having came back from Leadership Training Camp(LTC), the last thing I’d post about is how fun it was – although I have to admit that it was a shitload of fun and I absolutely adore my group, Tiger Balm, I’m sure everyone had fun as well so why bother sharing? The thing is, we were taught the “Five practices of leadership”. I see everyone mindlessly indulging in a buffet of fanciful sounding phrases describing how leaders are supposed to structure themselves. Which set me thinking really – do we actually need these guiding principles? Are we that stupid?

Although leadership isn’t exactly the easiest of tasks, I’m as hell sure we don’t have to constrict ourselves to the aforementioned ‘practices’. To draw parallel, it’s like having commandments for breakfast. I imagine a family who walks to the dining table while muttering under their breath “we butter the bread with butter, we butter the bread with butter…”. I do not need these guidelines to learn how to lead.

Moving on to something more personal, I feel after entering Junior College, I’ve never really had a really serious or heart-to-heart conversation with anyone. Which scares me really. Because I haven’t much to offer other than wicked or morbid jokes/thoughts. But I can be a really mature and insightful person too.

PS. I’ve seen some people already starting to study really hard after this week of lectures. Seriously, you can get the best of courses in University but most of you are losing out socially.

Offense, the lack of and atheism

Howdy! (I didn’t really want to start off like this but the WordPress homepage did) I really like the third chorus in Owl City’s “Fireflies” where the chorus is repeated once again. The effects made it sound as if he(dude from Owl City because it’s only 1 person if you haven’t read) opened a vast, majestic horizon. Just a personal observation to kick start this update.

Have you ever had any of those moments where you’re having a conversation with another individual, and he or she goes “no offense, but… <SHITLOAD OF OFFENSE>”? This is a perfect example of how some phrases have been distorted way out of proportion. Another example – “No offense, but can you stop flapping your lips? your mouth stinks” (not that I’ve experienced this). How do you not take offense from that? No seriously, if you’re thinking of saying “no offense” it means what you’re going to say afterwards is going to hurt the other party. That has to be offensive.

Another thing I’ve noticed is when you ask someone what he or she believes in(or what religion he/she belongs to but that just sounds odd) and when they say “Free-thinker”, it’s wrong. Correct me if I’m wrong, but free thinking is when one is entitled to an own opinion. So I’d rather call it atheism. Here’s where it gets more confusing because some people actually think atheism is a religion. Well Atheism is, to put simply, the absence of belief in God. So if you don’t believe in God, is that still religion? No it isn’t.

To say that Atheism is a religion is like saying not collecting stamps is a form of hobby.

Council frenzy and opinions set in stone

Approaching the month of November, I think I’ll be safe to assume that both council work and Project Work have occupied most of my life. Needless to say, both aren’t very pleasant. Well I take that back for council. It’s not really hateful per se, due to the sheer overwhelming amount of shit-ass fun. As for Project Work, that’s one a bitch, really. Not really for now(notice I keep contradicting myself) but only for a couple of people I have to work with. I won’t dive right into the specifics but honestly, do people actually love each other so much to the extent of disturbingly touching each other in between PW work?

Furthermore, I’m as hell sure it’s all puppy love anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stopping a couple from falling in love. Their behaviour is condescending to themselves(I never imagined them being together). In addition, I wouldn’t want to find myself in the midst of a PW meeting beside 2 people frolicking like jack rabbits. So, congratulations to you both, just remember to use rubber.

Moving on, I’ve come across a lot of hard-headed people for a few weeks now. These are of a new breed by the way. Being the intellectual person I am, I usually partake in conversations with these people because you know, conversations are healthy. But the moment these people have an opinion and mine differs, there’s no way to speak to them. It’s like their opinions are set in stone. It’s worse when they think it’s personal.

PS. I think I have an infatuation with covering Lady Gaga’s songs on acoustic.

New acoustic and manic mood changes

A couple of days ago I got my new acoustic guitar, which by the way is an absolute beauty in terms of the warm sound it exhibits. No seriously, compared to other crappy acoustics that I’ve ever played in the past, the one I have now is like ear-gasm. It’s a Takamine ED21C by the way(although I’m as hell sure you’re not interested in the model/brand). Here are some pictures some other owner of the identical guitar took.

Moving on, I’ve noticed something really strange among a shitload of bloggers, more specifically my friends. Here’s how it goes, the way they behave or act in school are worlds apart from the way they write. And it’s not how they express themselves really, because even I observe a stark difference in prose and in speech in myself. I’m talking about their emotions. You can have him/her looking as if he/she(you know what, I’ll just use “they/them”) is having the time of his/her life but when you read their blogs, they’re all writing about the sad stuff. Which gets me wondering really. Is it like that for everyone?

PS. Yesterday a couple of us councillors celebrated Jar’s birthday and shit we had so much fun. Just proves how fun we are!

Post promos reflections and song of the day

You know what’s worse than getting bad grades all at once? Getting your hopes raised so high and all of a sudden have them all dashed. It’s sudden with an upper-case S by the way(is this the right way to use the phrase?) I’ll not really reveal my promotion exam results explicitly but let’s just say I was pretty certain of getting promoted until today. Take note -  it has been a few days since our promo papers have been released so I’ve been feeling pretty optimistic. About half an hour ago I received news that I got a bad grade for H1 biology. It’s shit-ass shitty that I dropped from H2 to H1 and still got a mediocre grade. No, really… with my biology grades, the word mediocre becomes redefined.

Moving on, I’ve noticed that a lot of my council mates are not doing well for their promo exams. By “doing well”, I do not mean scoring As and Bs because honestly, every one in my college is trying to get promoted instead of excelling. I don’t want to see any of my council mates get retained at all. Keeping that in mind, I hope I don’t get retained as well such that I have to step down early. I remember everyone muttering something along the lines of “we shall end our council term with 32 councillors” when we started being councillors.

PS. As I got ready for school I heard “If you’re not the one” Daniel Bedingfield on the radio. Immediately I got hold of it and I got hooked on it instantly. We kept playing the song in the council room. It was pretty immense if you ask me and I feel that little things like that can really cheer one up.

New guitar, transitions and such

For a few weeks now I’ve been contemplating which acoustic guitar to buy. Note: I’m not an electric guitar freak who goes for cheap-ass starter packs because of immense desperation to start being a rockstar and ass-wipery. I’m being myopic here when I say all these people just happen to suck at guitar by the way but the vast majority of them do. Anyway I’ve done some research of my own and apparently Art & Lutherie, Takamine and Washburn guitars are better than average so I’m sure I’ll get one of the Art & Lutherie ones because they look really pretty. I’m as hell sure you’re not interested in whichever guitar interests me so…

I used to be a really fussy boy younger to the extent that I wouldn’t eat burgers, potatoes, eggs and drink milk. Now that I think of it, it’s pretty freakish. I honestly don’t know what went into me.

I had to reccie Chinatown with a couple of people yesterday. But to be honest the highlight wasn’t then but towards the end of the day when I met the rest of the councillors for dinner. I think the five of us knew what happened so I’ll just summarise everything in keywords.

Man Cream, Khao Gai Phat Krapow, oh make that 2 please, 2 Khao Gai Phat Krapows, something something Phat Phrik Thai Dam, something something fat freak thai damn, man cheam i mean man cream, shoot shag and marry(so far the most epic of the night), Linus, sex, dustbin, Weiyeat, not talking during, sex, Dorisa, shag, herself, Yenn Ruong, 3 best men in council, council family tree

PS. Tomorrow some promo papers are going to be released. Am hoping and praying I pass all of them.

Post promo feelings, uncertainties & prospects

Monday(the fifth) marked the last days of promotional exams. Was seriously the end of what seemed like a never ending period of continuous studying. Furthermore the feeling of not studying last minute kind of sucks and it’s not as if I’ve not technically studied. It’s just that I find the urgency to revise my work daily. And when the time comes for people to kick start their studying regime for major exams, I just switch off because I feel I’ve done enough and that stinks cos last minute does help as well. But I’m just glad it’s all over for now.

Speaking of which, since there’s no need for revision for the time being, a large proportion of my time in school now will be for Project Work and Council. I’d rather not talk about PW because I dislike it. Council, on the other hand, exists in this portal in the complete opposite end from PW in my Grand Spectrum of Needs, Wants and Hates. Simply put, I’m lovin’ council. There’s so many fun people it’s not even logical to start with. What more with the tau-porkery of Suven and our(me and Linus’) sexism and “Jarwis”. Too much to list.

Lately I’ve been observing a whole lot of myself and I’d have to say I think I have characteristics of a sociopath. Sometimes I find it really hard to express myself even in the most simplest ways possible. And it’s scaring me because my friends think I’m depressed when I put on a straight face and say nothing. But honestly, I don’t have much to say at times.

PS. I think this update really sucks because I’m just writing fragments of what I feel/think/observe. I think I just did it again.

Promotional Exams

I just watched “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” on DVD and I’d have to say the movie is so deep yet hilarious as well. And ah well isn’t it misleading that the title of this post is “Promotional Exams” and I go about talking about a movie I just watched. I’m sure you’d notice that I update so irregularly and the intervals are so far apart it seems like I don’t even write here anymore.

Let’s just say that when I’m really unhappy I will pen my thoughts here. But I shouldn’t treat this like a really emotive outpour because I need to rest soon. This update was really impromptu and supposed to be spontaneous but now I’ve thought of something.

Here goes… I know how we’re always told to live towards our aspirations and dream big? Like this mug I saw before that says something along the lines of “reach for the stars so when you fail you’ll end up in the clouds”. But what got me really unsettled was how the new friends I’ve met in Junior College are really ambitious. I’m not one to judge but honestly, shitty grades in JC1 isn’t the best way to show your desire for med school, let alone qualify. And I’m not referring to their intelligence because you got kids from top secondary schools. Furthermore, they bring in this song and dance of theirs about them. I’m just saying that if you want something don’t just dictate your wishes; work towards it.

PS. I sound so much like a principal. I really wish to write more but there’s this strict schedule I have to stick to.

After months of disappearance

So after m0nths of disappearance(did I spell that correctly?), you would think that I would never return back to blogging. I wouldn’t consider this blogging anyway because half the time I’m writing anything that comes out of my head. Yes yes it deviates… Oh did I mention I’m trying to incorporate new words into conversation(take note I keep messing this up with conSERvation but I’ll touch on that later). Because honestly my English has hit an all time low, so low it’s deep. And it’s not even funny because I’m talking about Grand Canyon deep.

Moving on, I was rambling about how I’m writing now which deviates greatly from the way I used to. And deviate is a term used in my studies ie. graphs to describe trends so I’m thinking it’ll be easier for me yada yada yada I don’t even think you would understand what I’m saying so I’ll just go on.(Take note this post will be pretty long)

I’m hating how everything in my life is strictly decreasing(see what I did there?). For example, one, I’m not studying hard for my mid-year exams and I fear I might get kicked out of my class. Plus I’m a student councillor(woohoo great news!) so I have to show a good example and I’m pretty sure my secondary school mates will cringe upon hearing that. Two, I’m not doing anything about myself. And three, I found that I’m a rather rude person so I have to work on that as well.

This is least important to most of you reading however I feel it necessary to put how I feel down(was that even grammatically correct?). I’ve partially given up on hopes of being a doctor when I grow up. It’s just too hard to juggle my workload in junior college and stupidity because they go hand in hand. Furthermore I heard it takes probs about between 5 and 8 years. God knows how old I’ll be then. I’ll probably grow old being a teacher or a veterinarian(because you know, nothing beats working with animals!).

Oh and lastly the reason why I’m updating!(Did I mention that earlier? Meh I’m too arsed to scroll up) I feel as if I’ve been living in an empty vessel for the past 5 months or so. I can’t really talk to my parents about things much. For the love of God, I even have trouble talking to them about my studies. Oh the drama.

tl;dr – my studies are FUBAR(effed up beyond any repair), I’m a recluse and I’ll live like that for the next one and half years.

tl;dr means too lazy; didn’t read.

Economics

I don’t understand economics. I think I will suffer in Meridian JC.